Male Writer:Ah, anniversary jokes are so funny. Because chicks always hate it when you don't remember anniversaries! A plus gold very original
Male Writer:Mother in laws amirite?
Male Writer:My male character who is an author insert of myself pines after a woman I used to pine after in high school. Then they have sex. This is good literature.
Male Writer:Ugh female books are so romance filled
Male Writer:And girl fanfics, so mary suey
Male Writer:Now listen about this original middle aged man who is an expert in everything, suffers from ennui, looks like me, acts like me, and gets all the girls i want.
Male Writer:She was sexy in an alluring, boring way, filled with purple prose and riddled with objectification
Male Writer:If i make a female character parrot my misogynistic views, they cease to be misogynistic! Are you saying you don't respect my fake female characters opinions, feminists?
Male Writer:a good action girl is one who looks hot at all times
Male Writer:If the female main character got in an asskicking line, my work is Feminist with a capital F and no one can criticize me
Specifically White Male Writer:Heroic tropes are so overdone. I'm going to create a boring white guy with stubble to be a completely original antihero no one has ever seen before TM.
Same Guy:It's original because he is a jerk who gets away with bad behavior, just like I wish i could.
Another Specifically White Male Writer:It's in my universe to only have white men do things in my book. I mean, don't you care about historical accuracy
Same Guy:I mean, it's a generic fantasy verse with no real life time period equivalent and i haven't done any research, but i'm SURE that it's historically accurate. To that dark mideval dragon fighting europe period
Same Guy:Where in Europe? Who cares!
Male Writer:There is no better way to introduce a female character to a male character than by him saving her.
Male Writer:Characters hating each other is good sexual tension!
Male Writer:One female character and five male characters is a good team balance
Male Writer:If my female character chooses to act in a sexist tropey way, it's not sexist. In fact, because she CHOSE to do it, it is Feminist.
Imagine your OTP in the early stages of their sexual relationship. So far, person A has always topped, but person B assumes they will get to do that eventually. One night, they are getting hot and heavy and person B says they want to fuck person A. Person A responds badly, and instead of hot sex they end up having a massive fight with a lot of misunderstanding and hurt feelings. If/how they resolve the situation is up to you.
Fake bisexuals do exist though, there was this fake bisexual at my school that turned out to be just old Mr Willikers in a bisexual costume.
He was pretending to be a bisexual to scare everyone away from the old mill where he had hidden all the treasure he’d stolen from the museum. And he said “I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”, true story.